double shocking NEWS!!

...January 2009 with lots of unforgettable momento...
on 4th Jan, lepas balik dari kedai as usual bapak ngadu sakit pinggang n sakit blkg kat mak...then mak sapu ubat...bapak pun tido. tapi sakit jugak lagi...mlm 2 bapak tido awal as usual...tp mak kata bapak dok complaint pasai air kat rumah en aziz dok tup tap tup tap...x leh tido...
pukul 11 mlm...mak call dari atas, ckp bapak sakit sangat nk p hospital...so dengan mamai2 bangun nk bersiap...mak call lagi kata bapak sakit sesangat x mau p spital...suruh pangge Tok Mamak...dalam keadaan kelam kabut lari p rumah Tok Mamak...ketuk punya ketuk x dak jugak org bukak...teruih telefon mak...bapak kata pangge jugak2...ketuk punya ketuk...last2 mak dapat call rumah depa n cakap ngan Tok Mami...apa lagi kelam kabut tok mamak mai rumah....
Tok mamak baca ayat2 nk bagi bapak relax...tp bapak kata sakit sangat nie...x buleh tahan dah...tempoh sikit pun sakit sangat....bila keadaan dh cam2...bapak tanya kat tok mamak...nk kena p spital ka?...tok mamak kata better p lah...sbb teruk sgt sakitnya....teruih i call ambulance...lebih kurang 1/2 jam ambulance sampai...around 12a.m....send to Hospital Sultanah Bahiyah....mak follow naik ambulance...mak kata punya la laju ambulance 2 ...mcm nk terbalik dok dlm 2....then bapak admitted to emergency ward....
the next day i p visit after send my daughter to school....Dr kata nk refer kat IJN for the case....then they do the scanning and found that saluran darah bapak yg bengkak 2 dh pun pecah di bahagian perut....and Dr said mmg tak leh buat apa2 kat Hospital A/S, must send to IJN jugak....
After stabilizing bapak...on 6 Jan 2009 around 8.30a.m ambulance pun bertolak ke IJN...and i follow from behind with Dina n Wafa.....kesian tgk bapak...nampak muka letih coz diaorg x berani nk bg makan or minum, sbb saluran darah yg pecah 2 bersebelahan ngan usus....around 1p.m we arrived at IJN....punya la lama dok tunggu tang tu...sementara depa nk admit ke ward....after being examine..at last arounh 4p.m bapak being admitted to HDU (High Dependency Unit)....and we think this is due to the condition is really critical now.
...after further examination and scanning....Dr informed us that they could not do anythg coz "dah terlambat"....all of us really stun with the news...and Dr mentioned that they only could monitor and stabilize bapak or else miracle happen and no internal bleeding....however..we all still praying that nothing bad will happen...and bapak would be as healty as usual....and we also decide not to let bapak know the condition as at that time due to not to make him more depress and increase the blood pressure...
On 7th Jan 2009, bapak kelihatan agak lemah n penat...and Dr mentioned that may be due to the pressure inside the body for supplying the blood through the whole body...kesian sgt tgk bapak...tapi dok melawak lagi x habih2....bapak mmg suka melawak walau pada hakikatnya i know he is suffering....yet he also ngadu kat mak yang still dok rasa sakit kat tempat yg pecah 2....and keep asking bout what the Dr said about his condition...
The next day on 8th Jan, 2009, bapak really look terrible coz' Dr. mentioned that the internal bleeding is increasing already...I really can't help to hold my tears anymore eventhough reciting Yaasin to make he calm....Ya Allah...tak tahan tengok bapak gelisah menahan sakit saluran darah yg pecah 2....at the same time we are praying for the miracle to happen and bapak stable again...
....at 12.30p.m bapak call everyone of us and mintak maaf coz bapak kata yg bapak x dapat bertahan lagi....saat 2 mmg sgt pilu dan tak dpt tahan sebak ...and i won't forget the moment...pity him....however we all keep reciting yaasin bergilir2...tanpa henti...to make him calm and rest...and his condition from that moment onwards become worse and worse as the internal bleeding is now increasing...
...at last Bapak pergi meninggalkan kami around 7.24p.m...di malam jumaat yg penuh rahmat...seperti mimpi yg x mungkin berakhir...Semoga Allah memberikan rahmat ke atas roh bapak dan di masukkan ke syurga firdaus...Amin ya rabbal a'lamin....
then we arrange to bring back bapak ke alor star by Van Jenazah...i follow from behind again with my mum, dina and mak tam....meanwhile abang teman arwah bapak dalam van jenazah....
keesokkan harinya on 9th Jan...kami kebumikan bapak di tanah perkuburan seberang perak...dengan tahlil di baca oleh iman masjid ihsan, tok mamak and pak cik sobri...sayunyer terasa tengok wajah bapak buat kali terakhirnya...rasanya terlalu cepat bapak p meninggalkan kami...

on the next day...i went for a check-up with kak emy @ Dr. Gangga clinic and found that my baby have no heart beat already...and Dr advise to do D&C...dengan perasaan yg hampa dan kecewa...i went to KMC on 12th Jan and proceed with the D&C....and the Dr. gave whole week of MC in which i'm really depress and sad with this 2 shocking news ever....:-(

....kata ayang...mungkin ada hikmah...and mungkin juga belum rezeki nk tambah baby...rezeki akan datang kemudian...InsyaAllah....

and as at now...i will try my best to take care of my mum as gud as i could....with blessing from Allah....amin!